When out for a pleasant drive one day, I uncovered a shocking culinary crime against animal humanity!
After this African animal bushmeat scandal, we now have Halal Flamingo! On a pizza? How can this possibly be true? Surely these poor animals suffer enough.
According to the all knowing wikipedia, in Ancient Rome their tongues were a delicacy, so maybe a pizza topping as well?
Sir David Attenborough would be appalled, all those poor pink birdy birds being forced to face Qibla before being throat-slitted would make Paris Hilton feel quite unsettled.
Is Edna now damned to Islamic hell for reporting on this? Is Google in on this too? Note the airbrushing
Just as the first England game in the 2010 FIFA World Cup is due to commence on the evening of Saturday, June 12th, a pizza is arriving somewhere in London.
Instead of dropping off the food in the familiar manner, Pizza Delivery Man is told by the receptionist to leave the pizzas in the Playout Area, where Transmission Controller is waiting in the staff kitchen – not manning the transmission desk – trying sneakily to be first in line to devour the grub.
Meanwhile, Pizza Delivery Man arrives at the Playout Area, duly placing his payload of pizza boxes upon the transmission desk. Yes, the transmission desk.
But this, in itself, is not the cause of the problem.
An unassuming IT technician turns up (let’s call him IT Kevin). Spots the pizza. He opens one of the boxes to swipe a slice of pizza that he normally wouldn’t get anywhere near at feeding time.
Quickly, a slice of hot pizza is necked by IT Kevin and the lid is closed. What IT Kevin doesn’t realise is that the three-legged tripodesque plastic support thing – designed to protect the pizzas – is stuck inside the lid.
In his haste to open the pizza box, IT Kevin inadvertently flicks the piece of plastic onto the live transmission desk. Yes, the transmission desk.
But, still, this in itself does not impact upon the playout.
The match has started by this point, and continues to be broadcast, just fine and dandy…
…UNTIL the work experience girl – TRYING TO BE HELPFUL – jams the piece of plastic into the transmission desk – yes, the transmission desk! – thinking it has fallen out of the desk.
This action causes the vision mixer to switch from the live football feed to the commercial server feed.
The work experience girl being deaf, colour blind and uninterested in football has no idea of what has just happened.
She picks up the pizzas and takes them to the staff kitchen. She probably thinks it is a great company to work for; loads of free pizza and nobody around to eat it. Yum.
The broadcaster’s lawyers are now “communicating with” Papa Patricia’s Pizza Co.