Edna has often wondered what his partners in crime Main and Beak actually do professionally.
Edna is here today to list what she actually does and throws down a challenge for a similarly public declarations from other ohcheers.com contributors.
1. Edna apparently works in IT for a big company. Apparently Edna works in IT for a big company because once upon a time she worked with fixing computery problems. Edna now answers emails from many other email answering/sending people around the company. Edna spends time belittling others.
2. Edna works from home a lot, she probably does not realise how good she has it, she is not Gen Y but certainly expects that working from home for everyone is the normal thing for everyone to expect.
3. Edna probably does not really know how good she has it, or suspects that to be the case. Today, being a working from home day, Edna decided to vague out a bit, have a bit of a sleep for lunch, answered a lot of emails at 6am, watered some vegetables, and answered some more emails etc. This forms a standard routine for Edna.
4. Edna complains a lot.
5. Edna sits in fear of the inevitable redundancy call from HR, how would Edna ever be able to better this career? Edna (probably) secretly hopes that she continues to plod in this sedentary life until her superannuation grows to a point that she can retire and do less, or perhaps do more.
6. Edna tries to come up with things to write for OC during her working day – a little like this really.
7. Edna wishes the other ohcheers.com contributors would stop dicking around with their post-Pitchfork proclivities and tell her what THEY think they’re doing.
Anyone who actually reads the irrelevant dross published on this website might be aware that a character who only semi-pretentiously named himself as The Main Protagonist – well, aren’t we all the main protagonist in the story of our own lives? – has a chance of being conscious of his, or, er, my love for radio, music and in particular the best radio station on the planet: BBC Radio 6 Music.
And 6 Music is ten years old. I only started listening to 6 in 2003, when my employer (coincidentally the BBC) happened to permit me to listen to it whilst working.
I had neither a DAB radio of my own, nor broadband internet. It was a different era. It was like the 1950s of the Internet compared to now. Social media hadn’t been invented. There was no Facebook or Twitter.
As a recent graduate of an arts-based degree I wasn’t hugely employable, so whilst I was working at the BBC, it was in the highly confidential and sensitive “Scanning Room”, document managing high profile employee paperwork and seeing all sorts of naughtiness.
My favourite memory perhaps being the opportunity to read about a disciplinary for one member of staff who’d been having an affair with another and doing all sorts of sneaky, saucy, kinky devilry whilst in the office/studio. Names are forgotten so the Data Protection Act is null and void in writing this. I think. I hope.
I’d always adored music and had been rather fond of radio for years. I loved John Peel’s shows. I never knew I’d get the chance to hear an entire radio station inspired by his ethos of openness, going mostly against the grain of commerciality.
Vic McGlynn‘s afternoon show was a revelation. Hearing Daft Punk Is Playing In My House for the first time was a glimpse into genius. An indie punk rock band playing dance music about a dance band playing at their house. Which also SOUNDS as if it’s a live band playing Daft Punk.
Unfortunately a lot of our time working in our jobs at the BBC was spent “on standby” as opposed to doing actual “stuff”, so we were told to listen to the radio and watch telly and generally chat to kill time. We weren’t allowed out of the Scanning Room. We were guards of the dark information, in a dark place. No windows. Literally no windows.
As for us BBC scanners – myself, Vanessa and Bonnie (later of Electricity In Our Homes infamy) – we became fast friends before the management realised how much money they could save by selling off the entire HR dept to a third party, albeit a third party which would run it really quite terribly (Capita, aka BBC HR Direct), and thus give the management lovely big bonuses to buy big houses in Holland Park and Notting Hill.
6 Music is very much a part of this writer’s present, and remains one aspect of the BBC he adores. And so he felt compelled to respond to this challenge:
As part of 6 Music’s Birthday celebrations we want to hear 6 Of The Best from you.
Just select six songs that most represent 6 Music to you by filling out the form below.
You’ll be able to hear a different listeners’ selection each week on the Liz Kershaw show on Saturdays, 13:00-16:00. We’ll also be compiling a chart of all the entries that are sent in.
I’ve replied. I bit on the bait. Here’s my first of the 6:
Guillemots – Made Up Love Song #43
The wife and I played this at our wedding for the first dance. Our Auntie Pam in a broad Manchester accent is on video yelling, “WHAT THE BLOOMIN’ HECK IS THIS?” in response to the wonky Hammond intro to which my newlywed wife and I did a close dance. We pulled some delightful dancey twirls out of the bag in the song’s climactic second part, much to the surprised cheers of onlookers who hitherto had only ever seen me raving sketchily in muddy fields.
Roland: “I’m quite smug too, but I can’t top you, VOX. It seems apt that I lie, thus, perpendicular to the ground, whilst you are appropriately upright. I hate you VOX.”
VOX: “I can see all the grit and muck on your wheels. Have you no shame, Roland?”
Roland: “What does it matter when you’re in the room, VOX? I can never be as good as you. I can never carry the warm glorious tones and even if I could, all the kids love your coolness almost as much as Orange. All I’ve got is this old skool logo.”
Roland crawls off, still side-ended, for a little cry.
Blue Chair: “Oh right. Just ignore me then. I mean, I AM actually the only one in this room that contributes anything properly productive in this messed up society by helping with the parking of bums whilst they contribute actual work and thus partake is true wealth creation in this glorious socio-capitalist economy. Whilst you two – YOU TWO! – just ponce it along with the cooler-than-thou indie kids.”
Piano: “Just calm down. You’re all pathetically short-term. What use is a chair or a valve amp or even YOU, Bicycle, when the transhumans take their rightful place as the simians’ overlords. Really, when you think about it, this really IS a very petty argument. Of course, having said that, Piano shall always prevail, just as it always has. I am CLASSICAL for a reason you losers. Ha!”
Bicycle sulks silently. He’s heard it all before and recognises the futility of partaking in Kilroy politics. “No wonder Kilroy lost his mind“, thinks Bicycle.
Our friend Edna has some lavatorial concerns to express from the southern hemisphere…
As an inhabitant of a multicultural metropolis, I can appreciate and enjoy the differences that makes this a fantastic place to live. But one cultural difference that I cannot come to terms with is the inability or unwillingness of some to use a pedestal toilet (properly).
Puddles of yellow around my corporate toilets and indeed even up the walls have been frequently encounturd (thankfully not yet) .
Surely regardless of your origins, a certain sense of “when in Rome” (Melbourne), applies to habits of a personal nature as well, especially in the office? I would have thought performing a “gut grunt” in the squat position would indeed be difficult, and dangerous, without a specifically designed device (as well as apparently messy)?
Now that “use the toilet properly” signs have been put up, the culprit seems to have spread out to the urinals. Perhaps working for a bank, this is a dirty protest against the GFC?
An intimidating interrogator… [click image to maximify]
Now listen here, fact fans: Dob and his crew intend to attend the final BBC 6Music protest this Saturday (20/05/2010). As made previously clear, we are strong supporters of the 6Music and will be madder than Hell if it is withdrawn. See you there?
Working in offices – as the Main Protagonist of the Oh Cheers website tends to do, to earn dosh to honour his roof-over-head habit (what will the world come to?) – we often encounter unusual goings-on in startlingly sterilised environments.
This particular instance was of particular interest. As you may note, there are a number of cornflakes neatly surrounding the perimeter of the bin. How could that have happened?
Our best bet is outlined below. Image courtesy of image geezer beak. Who?
