Archive for the ‘Dinner’ Category

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Bushmeat in Melbourne

July 2, 2010

Edna, our trans-Pacific contributor, is aghast….

When out for a pleasant drive one day,  I uncovered a shocking culinary crime against animal humanity!

After this African animal bushmeat scandal, we now have Halal Flamingo! On a pizza? How can this possibly be true?  Surely these poor animals suffer enough.

According to the all knowing wikipedia,  in Ancient Rome their tongues were a delicacy,  so maybe a pizza topping as well?

Sir David Attenborough would be appalled,  all those poor pink birdy birds being forced to face Qibla before being throat-slitted would make Paris Hilton feel quite unsettled.

Is Edna now damned to Islamic hell for reporting on this?  Is Google in on this too? Note the airbrushing

Dubious photo evidence below.

"Is it Kosher?"

Halal Flamingo: "Is it Kosher?"

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Are You Tom?

June 6, 2010

Edna has been patiently waiting for spinach seeds from a farmer at the local market, and reports on the experience…

Edna: Hello Blakey, have you got my seeds?

Blakey: Seeds! Bugger [SLAPS HEAD]. I was supposed to bring some of the Warrigal down for Tom at the gasworks.

Edna: I’m Edna.

Blakey: Damn, I forgot the seeds for Tom as well. Are you Tom?

Edna: No, I’m Edna.

Blakey: Are you sure you’re not Tom?

Pause

Edna: I’m sure I’m Edna.

Blakey: Do you know Tom?

Edna: No

Edna buys some leeks, onions and spinach,  pays $21.

Blakey: All the best Tom, I will bring them for your next time.

Blakey’s wife: [ROLLS EYES)

Edna got her seeds a few weeks later,  the spinach is growing nicely.

True story.

Blakey: Are you sure you're not Tom?

Look deep into Blakey's wild, wild eyes. You are Tom.

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A Pigeon and its Pain Relief

May 24, 2010

beak is back, and he still loves the birds:

With plant fertiliser now illegal, the kids are looking for a new high, and they’re not alone. Codeine can be bought legally and cheaply on the internet and it’s proving popular when consumed with alcohol, for the ecstasy-like effects it gives teenagers. And pigeons.

OC saw one plucky little feathered raver get more than he bargained for, as whilst pecking away at the ground, he happened upon a suspicious looking wrap, and dived straight in.

Within minutes the effects of the opiate had overtaken ol’ birdy bird and he lay there, helpless in his delirium, twitching in the Sun. His mate didn’t hang around for long: he had guestlist at Ministry.

Didn’t affect his appetite, mind you. This is him as he came to Sunday Lunch the very next day:

It was a heavy night beforehand

Fuzzy but Functional

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