Archive for the ‘Corruption’ Category

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Sunday Ironing Blues

June 10, 2012
Why not use this iron to murder someone like that time in Eastenders...?

One day, this TOOL will become a WEAPON

Time to iron. Iron. A noun for such a powerful and historically relevant metal. A noun which, when used as a verb, describes a menial task that emphasises our bonds to our capitalist overlords (presuming we want to look sufficiently smart so as to keep our jobs). In the future, the verb “to iron” will mean to brutally defend yourself with a shirt-smartening tool. After the apocalypse, obviously. After the apocalypse I’ll be doing a LOT MORE ironing. Ka-thunk.

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WHO ARE THE 50%?

April 23, 2012

We know who the 99% are. We figure who the 1% are by elimination.

Beak tells us he’s in the 50%, in his own wiry words:

I am the 50%

TRANSCRIPT

I’m the kind of moaning little cunt who despises other people’s happiness. When I’m not trying to earn more money than my friends I take the high ground at every opportunity.

I consider myself and my values better than those around me. I feel guilty about the ice caps and the rainforests and the ozone.

You’ll hear me say: “I’m the way I am because I’ve never had to go to war.”

When the war that is going to end this financial mess kicks off, you’ll find me under my bed. Drunk. Shitting it.

I am the 50%.

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David Cronenberg Retrospective: Scanners

February 25, 2012

Reblogged from Danny Isn't Here, Mrs. Torrance:

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Scanners! You were far sillier than I remembered!

Cronenberg's next film after The Brood lacks its gravitas. Scanners actually differs from almost all Cronenberg films in that there is far less emphasis on psychological and physiological irregularity, and almost none of the skewed sexuality that permeates his other films. Scanners is, dare I say it, a pretty straight horror/sci-fi flick.

Read more… 650 more words

Following on from reflective ruminations of our time in the BBC Scanning Room (see previous post)... “We’re gonna do it the Scanner way. I’m gonna suck your brain dry!”
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Shortfall Discovered in Bank’s Annual Report; Kids Cancer Charity Funds “Re-Invested”

January 11, 2012

Edna returns with another glimpse into her corporate life.

EDITOR’S COMMENTTrust the BANKERS to rip-off an honesty box to the tune of a hundred and sixty dollars!

Never let it be said that bankers don’t deserve their massive pay and bonuses. They are extremely hard working and accountable. And ethical. And clever. And cunning. And brilliant.

And as part of their oh-so-busy schedule, bankers also find time to “borrow” from poor, cancer-stricken children. Not to feed their socially-acceptable gambling habits, you understand. Not at all. But to leverage their investments. Yes, to leverage their clever investments from charity funds. What could possibly go wrong?

After all, in death, who needs the money?

As the adage goes, “You can’t take it with you.” Especially poorly children. Particularly poor, poorly children. And they’re used to being poor. And poorly. Why should they have any extra monies?

And the bankers are the new gods. They’re doing God’s work. And God knows they do it well.

So think of the poor bankers at this time, taking this adage to its extreme conclusion:

Over a hundred dollars stolen from charity. Who puts IOU notes into collection tins?? EVIL BANKERS, that's who.

LAST CHANCE to pay the $160 YOU STOLE - f*cking thieving bankers

It’s tough times in Big Finance. Got to look after number one. Just like American Psycho.

Edna might be naive, but she always thought that banks were supposed to lend money?

No wonder nobody understands the economy these days.

Better keep coughing up those tax quids to keep it all propped up and plump like a big fat goose that defecates infinite golden eggs for the Illuminati, whilst puking into the taxpayer’s hungrily open lips.

Edna is feeling edgily satirical today.

This post is helping nobody.

Least of all Edna.

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Why Rufus Hound incorrectly thinks he’s a boring twat (via The Dog’s B’logs)

July 10, 2011

Of course, Rufus is anything but a boring twat as he expertly summarises why the Murdochs, News International, the News of the World, and the protection of implicitly guilty individuals is altogether a Bad Thing for us but a Good Thing for those in power.

Keep up the good work Rufus.

The people we elect, to serve our best interests, are being blackmailed.

The people doing the blackmailing don’t want what is best for US they want what is best for themselves.

What’s good for them is actually bad for us.

Therefore, we no longer live in a democracy where our elected officials are working in our best interests, we’re living in a poisonous oligarchy, one of the main aims of which is to make money for Rupert Murdoch, regardless of who suffers, hurts or dies.

The systems that our forefathers built to protect us are being taken away.

Those with the power are becoming more powerful and less answerable.

Those with the money are becoming richer.

Those with very little are set to suffer more.

I don’t want that for me.

I don’t want that for you.

I don’t want it for my kids, your kids, our friends, our parents, our countrymen.

Maybe the fact that I haven’t found a way of making this funny is evidence that I’m not a very good comedian. I’ll admit I find it waaaaaaay easier to make jokes about things that matter less.

But this stuff really matters. It is no overstatement to say that the future of British democracy is up for grabs here. If we all just stop talking about this, if it goes away, if we, collectively, take our eye off the ball nothing will change. Murdoch will get more powerful and what you want for your life will cease to matter.

So, I’m sorry for being a boring twat, but at least now hopefully, you understand why.

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via The Dog’s B’logs

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