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Blackhackr

April 3, 2013

Indietronic outfit Blackhackr agreed to an interview. Of sorts. Here it is. All out of sorts.

1. What is Blackhackr?

Like most modern music, Blackhackr is best described in terms of a recipe.

  • Take three to four living humans. It’s important they start off alive for this recipe. Discard any deceased humans you may have picked up inadvertently when foraging. Dead humans are no good. They taste bitter and will spoil the whole dish.
  • Simmer the humans with the rhythm mechanics of world music and the darkest honesty of blues and folk until intensely grainy. When ready, they should resemble an Oxo cube made of charred flesh and granite.
  • It is essential at this point to offset the acridity of Blackhackr with a powerfully gentle aromatic herb. Grate the seeds of the Mescal Bean Tree into the mix at this point.
  • Crumble the residual grimey mixture into the reanimated, ever-living corpse of rock ‘n’ roll. Watch the corpse’s eyes. The corpse will understand. But! Don’t make eye contact!
  • Find a number of power sockets for the humans, which are hopefully still living, despite their traumatic ordeal. Note that Blackhackr usually need about 7 power sockets to make all the equipment work.
  • Stand back. Stand well back.
  • Listen. With ears.

2. Why is there a Blackhackr? What makes Blackhackr essential?

Moving away from the recipe metaphor, Blackhackr make music that is an unholy juxtaposition of electronic sounds.

Blachcrackr range all the way from decades-old uncleared samples, massive ‘90s electro-synth, surf rock guitar whilst somehow squeezing in something resembling a new wave rhythm section.

In laymen’s terms, Blackhackr are an expansive-sounding electro-rock (indietronic) band.

Simpler still, one could compare Blackhackr to various bands from the ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s, even the noughties. Blackhackr definines the ‘10s:

  • Post-rock histrionic guitar work? Yeah!
  • Zooming, booming post-punk distorted bass melodies? You bet!
  • Brave-but-beautiful world music drum loops, deep boom kicks and live percussion? Come on!

Edgily pop friendly yet somewhat progressive. Rather considered. They like to read. Blackhackr feel like they know what they’re doing. Of course, in the music business, knowing what you’re doing is technically impossible so none of us believe blackhackr.

3. Why do I keep seeing the word Blackhackr? Is it a typo? Did they drop the ‘e’ on purpose?

Sometimes dropping an ‘e’ is essential to appreciate the wider picture of reality. Or obscure it.

4. Are Blackhackr going to be huge?

What, like fill stadiums?

The Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury?

It’s already written in the stars.

5. What else are Blackhackr working on?

Fortunately, due to their independence and the trust placed in them by Futureproof Records, they have a few other projects in the offing:

  • graphic novel
  • novelty number 1 pop single
  • road movie
  • cookbook
  • easter egg

Posted in anti-PR, Art, Bloodlust, Braincasting, Branding, Broadcasting, Marketing, Music, Performance, Rules, War, Work | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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That’s the ohcheers.com manifesto

January 29, 2013

Goofy. Dorky. Lacking. Vacuous.

That’s the ohcheers.com manifesto.

The ohcheers.com blog is soon to enter its 158th year of operation. It has not done too badly, but we want more. Our page views continue to grow. 5000 at last count. Pity the pigeons.

It’s not been entirely clear, however, what ohcheers.com is about, what its writers are trying to say (or what they want), and what it all means, other than espousing and emphasising the meaninglessness of it all. Such is the wilful impact of telling you what not to think, or to paraphrase Orwell: you need to use doublethink to understand doublethink.

Here, therefore, are 5 THINGS which the Main Protagonist seeks to achieve throughout 2013. He lists sub-THINGS hereunder. This is Cosmic Ordering, so the Cosmos had better provide, or else the Cosmos gets it*.

1. Writing
(i) pretentious and self-conscious poetical lyrics (haikus have been popular – I’m available for $$$)
(ii) development of PR and journalistic technique (I’m available for $$$ or else persuade me to contribute charitably)
(iii) inane whimsy on ohcheers.com, which serves as our media outlet for our profound ideas, such as:

  • interviewing interesting people, like what we did what with Lizzie Roper, the face of Aunt Bessie Roast Potatoes. Jim Campbell never got back to us on whether he’d like an interview. We’re not pushy, so won’t ask again, but he’s free to get in touch when he’s ready for the exposure.
  • radical image juxtapositions and ‘free art’
  • stuff published in Viz for $$$
  • stuff published in Viz
  • stuff published

2. Sonic Astronic / Blackhacker
(i) EP & album – hopefully released and distributed by a certain proposed agency
(ii) gigs & interviews to support released material, build the Blackhacker brand and make a name for ourselves as a band
(iii) some really cool live sessions, like BBC 6 Music, and certain suggested cunningly cultural venues [cannot disclose at time of writing]

3. Bass Guitar
(i) daily practice: at least 30 minutes, aiming for 2 hours
(ii) weekly recording session: use a day a week to record improvisation from a practice session
(iii) gigs & interviews to build name as bassist, in accordance with point #2 above

4. Audio Software
(i) develop the hundreds of Apple Logic projects started which are incomplete
(ii) apply vocal lines to the projects, in accordance with point #1 above
(iii) apply bass lines to the projects, in accordance with point #3 above
(iv) complete the better tracks and release them somewhere, e.g. Soundcloud for starters, but ideally with the help of a third party music business participant

5. Stands Ups
(i) noting that a couple of experimental efforts have occurred…
(ii) dinner parties are the best source of material
(iii) have more dinner parties
(iv) use dinner parties to source material
(v) use material at open mic nights to test out material and get experience
(vi) have DNA sample taken against will, subsequent to arrest by police for pushing act too far
(vii) struggle to remain friends with dinner party guests

VI. Income
(i) [NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT APPLIES]
(ii) DJ on BBC 6 Music
(iii) write for $$$

Good luck to ohcheers.com and its participants in 2013!

*serious point: what happens if you put it to the Cosmos that you want the Cosmos to go away? If consciousness is required to facilitate wave function collapse and thus enact the construction of reality, then all we need to do is to block off the senses of all conscious creatures to annihilate the universe.

Posted in Art, Audio, Broadcasting, Business, Charity, Comedy, Conspiracy, Development, Difficult, Economy, Finance, humor, Internet, Interviews, Make The Pain Go Away, Photoshop, Pigeon, poetry, Poor, Productions, Satire, sex, Technology, Tragic Life Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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The Other 5… Of 6… Of The Best… Of 6…

February 27, 2012

Following on from the previous post, here are the other 5 I submitted to BBC Radio 6 Music as part of my “6 of the best” in honour of 6 Music’s tenth birthday:

Mystery Jets / Count & Sinden – After Dark
The reliably hyper-melodic Mystery Jets play through a set of perversely powerful euphoric hooks, whilst filtered through Count & Sinden‘s production, beats and mixing, defines the potential for what a new era of true indie disco could sound like. Utterly unparalleled right now, I want more of this material and if I don’t get it, I’ll have to make it myself. Wonderful Strictly Come Prancing dance competition video. A lot of fun.

Young Knives – The Decision
Taking matters into your own hands takes an absurd and intense turn in this track. Daft but at the same time intensely serious:

“I’m the Prince of Wales / And if all else fails / I am the Prince of Wales / That decision was mine”

…is still perhaps the best vocal hook I’ve ever heard as we hear the views of someone descending steadily into psychosis, perhaps as a result of a nervous breakdown induced by middle management in an office environment. And how on Earth would I know anything about that? Such power in the face of powerlessness. Talk about defining your own reality.

LCD Soundsystem – Daft Punk Is Playing My House
An indie punk rock band playing dance music about a dance band playing at their house. Which also SOUNDS as if it’s a live band playing Daft Punk. It’s a brilliantly self-aware crossover of genres. It’s postmodern and ironic but it’s still a cracking tune irrespective of ignorant critical slurs like those. Like me. Like those. Like me. Like those.

Bombay Bicycle Club – Shuffle
As a bassist I love the understated but precise lock of the groove. It’s a demonstration of rather mature songwriting with all manner of subtleties throughout the track. And lyrically it’s a celebration of loving music. Not just listening to music passively but actively engaging within it, acknowledging the temporal limitation of a song (i.e. music captures and replicates a mood but for only as long as it plays) coupled with the very human reality of any artist’s self-doubt in the face of the drive to create and engage.

Justice Vs Simian – We Are Your Friends
This cross-pollination of Simian and Justice – respectively an established indie band and a relatively-new French dance act – propelled not only these two artists to a whole new paradigm of success, but also culminated in the evolution of Simian into Simian Mobile Disco. Everyone’s a winner, especially the listener.

Posted in Art, Audio, Broadcasting, Disco, Journalism, Music, Radio, Video | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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BBC 6 (Music) Of The Best

February 13, 2012

Anyone who actually reads the irrelevant dross published on this website might be aware that a character who only semi-pretentiously named himself as The Main Protagonist – well, aren’t we all the main protagonist in the story of our own lives? – has a chance of being conscious of his, or, er, my love for radio, music and in particular the best radio station on the planet: BBC Radio 6 Music.

And 6 Music is ten years old. I only started listening to 6 in 2003, when my employer (coincidentally the BBC) happened to permit me to listen to it whilst working.

I had neither a DAB radio of my own, nor broadband internet. It was a different era. It was like the 1950s of the Internet compared to now. Social media hadn’t been invented. There was no Facebook or Twitter.

As a recent graduate of an arts-based degree I wasn’t hugely employable, so whilst I was working at the BBC, it was in the highly confidential and sensitive “Scanning Room”, document managing high profile employee paperwork and seeing all sorts of naughtiness.

My favourite memory perhaps being the opportunity to read about a disciplinary for one member of staff who’d been having an affair with another and doing all sorts of sneaky, saucy, kinky devilry whilst in the office/studio. Names are forgotten so the Data Protection Act is null and void in writing this. I think. I hope.

I’d always adored music and had been rather fond of radio for years. I loved John Peel’s shows. I never knew I’d get the chance to hear an entire radio station inspired by his ethos of openness, going mostly against the grain of commerciality.

Vic McGlynn‘s afternoon show was a revelation. Hearing Daft Punk Is Playing In My House for the first time was a glimpse into genius. An indie punk rock band playing dance music about a dance band playing at their house. Which also SOUNDS as if it’s a live band playing Daft Punk.

Unfortunately a lot of our time working in our jobs at the BBC was spent “on standby” as opposed to doing actual “stuff”, so we were told to listen to the radio and watch telly and generally chat to kill time. We weren’t allowed out of the Scanning Room. We were guards of the dark information, in a dark place. No windows. Literally no windows.

As for us BBC scanners – myself, Vanessa and Bonnie (later of Electricity In Our Homes infamy) – we became fast friends before the management realised how much money they could save by selling off the entire HR dept to a third party, albeit a third party which would run it really quite terribly (Capita, aka BBC HR Direct), and thus give the management lovely big bonuses to buy big houses in Holland Park and Notting Hill.

6 Music is very much a part of this writer’s present, and remains one aspect of the BBC he adores. And so he felt compelled to respond to this challenge:

As part of 6 Music’s Birthday celebrations we want to hear 6 Of The Best from you.

Just select six songs that most represent 6 Music to you by filling out the form below.

You’ll be able to hear a different listeners’ selection each week on the Liz Kershaw show on Saturdays, 13:00-16:00. We’ll also be compiling a chart of all the entries that are sent in.

I’ve replied. I bit on the bait. Here’s my first of the 6:

Guillemots – Made Up Love Song #43
The wife and I played this at our wedding for the first dance. Our Auntie Pam in a broad Manchester accent is on video yelling, “WHAT THE BLOOMIN’ HECK IS THIS?” in response to the wonky Hammond intro to which my newlywed wife and I did a close dance. We pulled some delightful dancey twirls out of the bag in the song’s climactic second part, much to the surprised cheers of onlookers who hitherto had only ever seen me raving sketchily in muddy fields.

Can you resist a few dancey twirls, dear reader?

Posted in Art, Bloodlust, Broadcasting, Business, Conspiracy, Development, Journalism, Marketing, Music, Office, Poor, Rich, Rules, sex, Social Networking, Technology, Tragic Life Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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Lizzie Roper Interview: Part 2

December 18, 2011
Lizzie Roper feeling the love for ohcheers.com - Oh Cheers Productions

Lizzie Roper sees Twitter as the dwarf in her cupboard

SUNDAY ROAST. Isn’t it delicious? We were midway through our roast dinner and it was made all the more scrumptious by the company of the highly entertaining naughty schoolgirl of Yorkshire puddings, Lizzie Roper, as we continue to discuss Sarah Beeny’s salmon mousse, fingerbanging and Twitter.

Oh Cheers: I can’t believe you put your bottom in Sarah Beeny’s flan.

Lizzie Roper: FISH MOUSSE! Get it right.

OC: I did read you once tried to encourage someone to put their arse in their birthday cake.

LR: Exactly! I’m always trying to encourage people to put their arse in their birthday cake.

OC: If only I’d’ve done that last night, with my friend’s thirtieth. But… she’s not exactly flamboyant. Bit normal and nice.

LR: It would’ve made a woman of her. It would have made her thirties.

OC: It would have made the cake special. Going back to the inspiration for the interview – your tweet that used the word “fingerbang” – can you tell us what fingerbanging is, exactly?

LR: You know what fingerbanging is!

OC: I wanna know what YOU think fingerbanging is.

LR: It’s when a gentleman gently – or viciously – inserts a finger up a lady’s loo-la.

OC: Loo-la?

LR: Yeah. Making sweet, sweet love, around about the ages of sixteen, mainly. Fingerbanging is very important when you’re a teenager.

OC: So does it stop at a certain age?

LR: No! No. No, it shouldn’t. But it moves from the main menu to the hors d’oeuvres by the time you’re thirty, doesn’t it? Whereas when you’re young that’s like WA-HEY! “Did he finger you? Did finger you? Did you get fingered?” You know it’s very important; it’s a rite of passage. I went to a private girls school, so we would have discos with private boys schools.

We’re interrupted as the pub owner comes to take plates; offer us apple crumble; take feedback on the roast dinner component of roast beetroot.

Lizzie: “The beetroot was delicious and there were heaves. Full of antioxidants.”
Pub owner: “It’s an acquired taste.“
Oh Cheers: “Didn’t like the beetroot. Another Yorkshire pudding next time, pal.”
Pub owner: “If you mention that next time then I’ll do it for you.”

LR: They’re the new owners. They’re all excited. It’s a new thing. Been open 2 weeks. Minor refurb. No dartboards. No TV sets. I like it. I like my places empty! You give me an empty dancefloor I’m a very happy girl. I don’t like crowds. I don’t like PEOPLE. F*ck people. F*ck right off.

OC: Well, don’t live in London!

LR: I AM a Londoner. I was here first. YOU piss off.

OC: Oh I see, it’s people like ME, ruining it for the rest of you. So, one of my questions was: “is this a persona?”

LR: Um…

OC: How much of this is an act?

LR: As I say, when I’m defending Twitter, I say, “Twitter is my toilet. Twitter is where the bad stuff goes.” I don’t have a partner to whom I can say, “oh for f*ck’s sake, meh meh meh meh.” I DO have this little thing in my pocket where I can go <makes gremlin noises>.

OC: How do I spell that?

LR: It’s up to you. I really like the brevity of Twitter. I like that there’s only 140 characters. What can you express in 140 characters? Can you be funny in 140 characters?

OC: The strictness, yeah, it focuses the mind. Structure and order. We need more structure and order in this country. Or do we? No we don’t.

LR: I didn’t realise how f*cking vile I am on Twitter, until –

OC: Until?

LR: Well… Twitter is the dwarf that lives in the cupboard, and I can go <makes gremlin noises>. I’m there everyday. I re-read my tweets and I see how vile I am. I’m appalled by myself. I’m not impressed. I would take myself outside and smack me. But people keep coming back. They keep wanting more. Maybe I’m Nick O’ Teen, giving the people what they don’t NEED, but what they want. I’m disgusting. I’m a very nice person, but there’s a dark side of me and that goes in there. So, is it a persona? It’s a tangent for me, I suppose.

OC: So it’s sort of just you, isn’t it?

LR: It is me.

OC: Just all the different sides.

LR: And I’m very lucky. I don’t work in a corporate world. My world is acting and voiceovers. I don’t have to be normal and good.

OC: That’s the point isn’t it? You’re not conforming.

LR: That’s my USP: I’m a bit wild and loud-mouthed and rude. And then it gets me in trouble when I go too far. Because I did think Twitter was a dwarf in the cupboard. It turned out it’s a dwarf with a megaphone, that is screaming to the whole world.

OC: And the people who follow you tend to go, “look at this everybody, isn’t it brilliant?” They retweet you, and you’re f*cked.

LR: But I love it.

OC: Good. So what did you do BEFORE Twitter?

LR: I used to have sex with men. I had boyfriends. It was brilliant.

OC: Real stuff. Who needs real stuff anymore?

LR: Real stuff. No, before Twitter… was there life before Twitter? Yeah. No. You know, we’ve gone from living in a family with one phone in the hallway, and your dad’s screaming at you – “IT’S BEFORE 6 O’ CLOCK” – to this ridiculous, over-indulged state of communication.

OC: I liked that on your email signature, it says:

Sent from my iPhone. Just like every other fanny on this bus.

OC: So on every email, it has that on the end?

LR: Yes.

OC: That’s what I notice on the train. You see so many people using phones. Tweeting. Twittering. Texting. Facebooking. Facehugging. There are idiots though who just use social networking for slanging matches. No need for that.

LR: I was told that blocking someone on Twitter is like walking away from a drunk at a party. And as soon as someone steps out of line, or is a bit weird, or is a bit boring: block, block, block, block, block. Twitter brings me so much joy, so why would I get involved in the shit side?

OC: And does it feed into your constructive creativity?

LR: I think it really does. Because I don’t do standup anymore, Twitter is a place where I can put out something that’s funny or quirky and I can see, “tee-hee-hee I’ve been retweeted!”

OC: So as a follow-up, what do you think of TWIDIOTS like us, who contact you out of the blue and say, “hey, you know what, let’s have an interview?”

LR: I love it. I’ve met other people on Twitter. There’s a brilliant guy called Newsagent Provocateur. Look up his videos. What I do find quite freaky – well, I love being flirty on the Twitter, and I am single – is that on two separate occasions I’ve been asked out by chaps for a drink. I love that they know what they’re gonna get: I don’t have to pretend I don’t know what a swearword is. But I’ve met up with these guys and I’ve discovered that they have girlfriends. So I’m like:

What did you think I was looking for? I have friends. I don’t need friends. What I need is some OTHER SORT of liaison, and I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate you meeting up with a random girl from Twitter.

LR: My greatest Twitter conquest, when I was doing Betwixt (the musical), which I loved, but I did write a random tweet one day saying:

F*cking hell. I’m so busy I haven’t had a wank in a week.

LR: This guy replied saying, “it sounds like you need one of these.” And it was a link to a £110 vibrator on an adult sex toy site. He was the marketing director and he sent me one. 3 days later, I had a £110 vibrator in my hand. Turns out he’s the most adorable man. He’s a homosexual. There’s nothing threatening. Nothing kinky. Nothing weird. And I… got a £110 vibrator.

OC: Are you disappointed he was gay? He sounds like a nice guy.

LR: Well. I’m awful. I love the gays. I have a huge collection of gays. But we’re back to fingerbanging again.

OC: All roads lead back to fingerbanging. The most primal urge.

STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER LIZZIE ROPER HIGHLIGHTS.

WE JUST DON’T KNOW WHEN THIS IS GOING TO END.

AND NOR DO YOU.

Posted in Broadcasting, Food, Interviews, Journalism, Peoples, sex, Social Networking, Technology | Tagged , , , | Leave a Comment »

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MURDOCH GIVES PHONE HACKING APOLOGY; PLEADS IGNORANCE

July 19, 2011

Amidst an eventful day in Parliament, Rupert Murdoch has done nothing other than to stick tacitly with his tack of explaining little about his involvement with the phone hacking scandal, other than to give a flaky apology and to reaffirm his disconnection to almost a decade of illegal activities in newspapers he just happens to own and control.

John Whittingfail quizzes the troubled media mogul Rupert Murdoch

Posted in Broadcasting, Cops, Journalism, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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Why Rufus Hound incorrectly thinks he’s a boring twat (via The Dog’s B’logs)

July 10, 2011

Of course, Rufus is anything but a boring twat as he expertly summarises why the Murdochs, News International, the News of the World, and the protection of implicitly guilty individuals is altogether a Bad Thing for us but a Good Thing for those in power.

Keep up the good work Rufus.

The people we elect, to serve our best interests, are being blackmailed.

The people doing the blackmailing don’t want what is best for US they want what is best for themselves.

What’s good for them is actually bad for us.

Therefore, we no longer live in a democracy where our elected officials are working in our best interests, we’re living in a poisonous oligarchy, one of the main aims of which is to make money for Rupert Murdoch, regardless of who suffers, hurts or dies.

The systems that our forefathers built to protect us are being taken away.

Those with the power are becoming more powerful and less answerable.

Those with the money are becoming richer.

Those with very little are set to suffer more.

I don’t want that for me.

I don’t want that for you.

I don’t want it for my kids, your kids, our friends, our parents, our countrymen.

Maybe the fact that I haven’t found a way of making this funny is evidence that I’m not a very good comedian. I’ll admit I find it waaaaaaay easier to make jokes about things that matter less.

But this stuff really matters. It is no overstatement to say that the future of British democracy is up for grabs here. If we all just stop talking about this, if it goes away, if we, collectively, take our eye off the ball nothing will change. Murdoch will get more powerful and what you want for your life will cease to matter.

So, I’m sorry for being a boring twat, but at least now hopefully, you understand why.

Read More

via The Dog’s B’logs

Posted in Broadcasting, Cops, Corruption, Journalism, Rules, Society | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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6Music: SAVED! For now, at least…

July 5, 2010

The Main Protagonist of this site has been harping on for some while about the proposed closure of the favourite radio station of the Oh Cheers crew, BBC 6Music.

Guess what? We’ve only gone and bloody saved 6Music, Rodders!

Wonder if the mighty Viz will again come up with another suitably worthy strip to honour this triumph of sanity over, er, insanity?

But, oh my dear 6Music fans, please do remain vigilant, however, as it is not yet exactly correct to say the station has been saved with a long term permanence:

The Trust concludes that, as things stand, the case has not been made for the closure of 6 Music. The Executive should draw up an overarching strategy for digital radio. If the Director General wanted to propose a different shape for the BBC’s music radio stations as part of a new strategy, the Trust would consider it.

Vigilance!

Posted in Broadcasting, Music | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

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EXCLUSIVE: FIFA World Cup Broadcast Gets a Pizza the Action

June 22, 2010

SCOOP: The Main Protagonist has a report to make upon the first, and, so far, only FIFA World Cup goal of 2010 scored by the England team. It is a tale of missed opportunity flying in the face of contractual broadcasting obligation. It wasn’t a betting scam; it was human error. Several humans and a cascade of errors. And a pizza company.

Just as the first England game in the 2010 FIFA World Cup is due to commence on the evening of Saturday, June 12th, a pizza is arriving somewhere in London.

Instead of dropping off the food in the familiar manner, Pizza Delivery Man is told by the receptionist to leave the pizzas in the Playout Area, where Transmission Controller is waiting in the staff kitchen – not manning the transmission desk – trying sneakily to be first in line to devour the grub.

Meanwhile, Pizza Delivery Man arrives at the Playout Area, duly placing his payload of pizza boxes upon the transmission desk. Yes, the transmission desk.

But this, in itself, is not the cause of the problem.

An unassuming IT technician turns up (let’s call him IT Kevin). Spots the pizza. He opens one of the boxes to swipe a slice of pizza that he normally wouldn’t get anywhere near at feeding time.

Quickly, a slice of hot pizza is necked by IT Kevin and the lid is closed. What IT Kevin doesn’t realise is that the three-legged tripodesque plastic support thing – designed to protect the pizzas – is stuck inside the lid.

In his haste to open the pizza box, IT Kevin inadvertently flicks the piece of plastic onto the live transmission desk. Yes, the transmission desk.

But, still, this in itself does not impact upon the playout.

The match has started by this point, and continues to be broadcast, just fine and dandy…

…UNTIL the work experience girl – TRYING TO BE HELPFUL – jams the piece of plastic into the transmission desk – yes, the transmission desk! – thinking it has fallen out of the desk.

This action causes the vision mixer to switch from the live football feed to the commercial server feed.

The work experience girl being deaf, colour blind and uninterested in football has no idea of what has just happened.

She picks up the pizzas and takes them to the staff kitchen. She probably thinks it is a great company to work for; loads of free pizza and nobody around to eat it. Yum.

The broadcaster’s lawyers are now “communicating with” Papa Patricia’s Pizza Co.

Posted in Broadcasting, Reportage, Technology | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

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More trouble in the post for ITV

June 21, 2010

In case you didn’t know, beak knows his broadcasting. Why? That’s classified. But hear these writings…

9 days after ITV spectacularly blundered their HD coverage of England’s opening World Cup game against USA, a thorough investigation has unearthed the Gremlin in the system that caused them to cut to an unscheduled advertisement at the exact moment captain Steven Gerrard scored England’s only goal of the tournament.

Transmitter noise has been identified as the source of the embarrassment. Broadcast engineers worked around the clock to fix the fault in time for the Algeria game (thanks for ensuring that one went uninterrupted).

ITV shouldn’t hold its breath: a recent trip up to Crystal Palace suggests it ain’t in the clear yet, BABY!

ITV HD Sabotage - Sponsored by Hyundai*

*Small vuvuzela-loving child will get his Hyun-DUES for his efforts.

Posted in Broadcasting, Football, Music, Sport, Technology | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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