Oh Cheers

In the absence of inspiration, your Main Protagonist here was agonising over building up a routine to perform in the mode of stand up comedy at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

For a start, what about coming on stage pretending to be a venue official, wearing a high-vis jacket, grabbing the mic and tell everyone to evacuate?

In the ensuing confusion, one could strip butt-nut naked, whilst avoiding any Scottish legal issues with a carefully-situated single white sock.

Then… don a sponge red nose. Have that.

Then! Grab the mic.

“THIS IS HOW WE DANCE ON MY PLANET”

Commence prancegasm.

Routine nearly complete.

Upon consulting a pal, the advice is to:

“Make sure you have a big smile on your face so people know you are enjoying yourself.”

Further advice, from said friend, is:

If any of the imbecile security guards “don’t get” your amazing 22nd century French improvational act, and try to “escort” you off stage, run around the stage and try to escape.

If they do manage to “lay hands on you” just start screaming hysterically as loud as you can “I WAS MOLESTED BY TINKY-WINKY!!” over and over again.

I think you’ll have to admit it’d be a pretty unforgettable act.

See you at Edinburgh, folks!